Romance and friendship scams: a guide for over-55s

Australians over 55 report the highest losses to romance scams. Criminals deliberately target people who are retired, widowed or lonely — on dating sites, Facebook, Words With Friends, even Words games and hobby groups. The grooming is patient and skilled: daily messages, shared “dreams”, sometimes over a year before the first ask.

The tell-tale turn

However the friendship begins, the scam has one reliable moment: the ask. An emergency, a business problem, a customs fee, an investment “opportunity”, a plane ticket to finally meet you. A genuine friend — one who has never met you — does not ask for your money. When the ask comes, the experiment is over: call IDCARE, talk to family, and read our full romance scams guide.

For adult children and friends

• Watch for: new secretive relationships, unexplained money stress, defensiveness about an online friend.
• Approach with warmth, not interrogation — the goal is keeping the door open, not winning the argument.
• Suggest, don’t demand: “Would you humour me with one call to IDCARE before sending anything?”